This month’s topic on business etiquette is a favorite of The Leadership Institute. We believe business etiquette’s application and principles have stood the test of time and are continually relevant despite our ever-changing society. Our interview with Carol Bory, Certified...
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Carol Bory: “Our society is moving faster, but it takes time to be kind. I would encourage people to slow down and be kind.”
Certified etiquette consultant Carol Bory guides an extensive array of one-on-one sessions, company meetings, seminars, and tutorials for executives honing their skills and polish in the corporate world in both social and business settings. Her offerings encompass a vast, substantial arc of protocol and etiquette topics including making an entrance and “working” a room, handshaking, increasing “mingling proficiency,” navigating international cultural differences in the global economy, dining dos and don’ts, and putting effective business meal tactics to work.
Receiving her corporate etiquette and international protocol certification from the distinguished Protocol School of Washington®, she founded Carol Bory Etiquette Consulting in 2003.
While Carol provides protocol knowledge to help clients become more confident and distinguish themselves in conducting business with customers locally to worldwide, her expertise also extends to personal, social gatherings. In that area, she delivers enrichment experiences in the art of fine dining, and gives advice, how-tos, counsel and tips for creating exquisite special-occasion and event tabletop settings.
In founding Carol Bory Etiquette Consulting, Carol brings 16 years of project management experience from the global powerhouse Intel Corporation, a technology leader in the computer and Internet revolution that changed the world.
With her consulting firm, she has been featured in articles delving into business etiquette, manners, gift-giving and social graces in The Arizona Republic and The Business Journal of Phoenix, and is frequently invited for speaking engagements to corporations and not-for-profit organizations.
1. What is business etiquette? How do you describe it to your clients?CB: Business etiquette is about being aware of others, paying attention to their needs, and responding to their needs in the right way.
2. What are the short and long-term benefits for practicing proper business etiquette?CB: Short-term: If you practice proper etiquette, you will earn respect, and respect is a building block for trust. People often want to do business with people they trust.
Long-term: Research shows that relational skills have a higher predictor of career advancement than the initial IQ skills that you were hired for. The more a person can work on those relational skills the farther it will take them on their career path.
3. If you only had 5 minutes with someone, what would be the most important thing you could teach them about business etiquette?CB: The most important thing would be to save the other person’s face. Show benevolent regard for another person. The quality of our relationships is dependent on the quality of our relational skills. It is often easy to criticize someone, but it takes that self-restraint to respond to them in a considerate way.
4. What is the most frequent etiquette error you see individuals, especially young women, make in a business setting?CB: Tone of voice. For young women, sometimes their tone has a tendency to be high-pitched, which may be perceived as immature or less credible. We need to be aware of our tone of voice and think about how we come across to other people. For example, do not end declarative sentences with the tone of a question; this shows tentativeness. You want to come across with confidence.
5. Are there any misconceptions that people have when it comes to proper business etiquette?CB: Most commonly people say business etiquette is old-fashioned and stuffy. In those cases, people are looking at etiquette as just a set of rules. Yes, there are rules and social norms that accompany etiquette, but it is in those rules that you find stability and character. Ethics and etiquette have the same Greek root ethos meaning “of moral quality”, so it is important that we look at etiquette as a constancy in our lives.
6. In a business setting, what do you personally make sure you do every time you enter a room full of people?CB: First of all, I always have some type of agenda in mind of what I want to accomplish. I want to meet as many people as I can. I am always curious to discover what gifts people have and how I might help them better use those gifts.
7. How have recent technological advances like texting and social networks impacted etiquette? Have the rules changed?CB: Texting is just the medium for the message, so the message shouldn’t change. We need to be aware of others, and respond to them in a considerate way. In the last few generations, parents have tried to instill children with self-esteem, for which they should be commended for, but there wasn’t a balance between self-esteem and self-restraint, so we are now seeing generations being more self-absorbed. They may be talking face to face with someone, but will divert their attention when they receive a text. We always need to show benevolent regard for the other person. Our society is moving faster, but it takes time to be kind. I would encourage people to slow down and be kind.
With social networks, there is this invisible barrier where people cannot see you, so early on with social networks people were just dumping information. Now, people are developing more of a sense of community, and almost asking for rules and structure within the social network structure.
8. What etiquette tips can you offer for individuals interviewing for a job?CB: 1. Arrive early
2. Take 15 minutes to relax yourself and check your attire
3. Turn off your cell phone. Do not just put it on vibrate
4. Dress professionally. Interviewers look at you from the top of your head to the bottom of your toes. Looking professional includes clean hair and polished shoes.
5. Make sure to show your confidence through your handshake.
6. Don’t invade the other person’s space. Wait for them to ask for your portfolio, and then when they do ask for it; ask permission to put it on their desk. Put your purse on the floor, not the chair.
7. Ask questions.
8. Send the thank you note. Some interviewers keep all the interview records on file electronically, so some employers prefer the electronic thank you. My recommendation is to send both electronic and hand written thank you notes. An email note is quick, and a hand written note will allow you to say something poignant or emphasize one of your skills in that note.
9. What advice do you have for young women professionals about business etiquette? CB: Concentrate on your interpersonal and relational skills. In the business world, a lot of times we see people that intimidate our personal advancement. Those people get short term results and success but are not going to be the employee who their peers say they will want as a leader in the office. Research has shown that what peers say during workplace reviews plays a large role in who their managers choose to be a leader at work, so always try to improve upon your interpersonal and relational skills.
10. How did you find your passion for the work you do today? CB: Showing kindness has always been important to me, and good relationships are built on positive encounters. Also, my mother is of Italian descent, and growing up she always prepared elaborate meals, took out her best china, and made sure everything was in its proper place, and I loved this. Lastly, I’ve had the opportunity to travel the world, and I am fascinated by how etiquette standards differ between countries.
11. What do you value most in your work? CB: My clients are very important to me, and it is because I really want them to be successful. Whenever I do a needs analysis for a client, I try to find out what they need and how they can implement it. For instance, I recently interviewed a client who was struggling with first impressions, so I made sure to provide tips to that person to help them be more successful.
12. What do you value outside of your work? CB: My family and spending time with my parents. They appreciate the small little things in life. I also love my dogs.
13. How did your education prepare you for your career? CB: I went to the Protocol School of Washington, and this experience helped me cement my knowledge in the etiquette profession and gave me the tools to expand my knowledge.
14. If any of our readers have questions about business etiquette, can they contact you?CB: Certainly! Email carol@carolbory.com or info@carolbory.com I am also on Twitter at twitter.com/carolbory
and I have a blog at carolboryblog.com
15. If our readers want to learn more about business etiquette, what websites and resources do you recommend?CB: The Protocol School of Washington puts out wonderful information. www.psow.com