"Online stalking and harassment is becoming more prevalent in the UK. Stalkers can be very dangerous and it is important to learn and understand the safety rules and to protect yourself from abuse, harassment and stalking. Stalkers and harassers are often people who do not...
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Parry Aftab: "Anything put online stays up forever"
Parry Aftab is a security, privacy and cyberspace lawyer, as well as an author and child advocate. Recently more than 90% of her time is donated to Internet issues involving children and adults, ranging from protecting children from sex crimes online to helping adults avoid identity theft and fraud online. Her main focus is teaching good cybercitizenship, especially to young people. This includes cyberbullying and responsible use of technology. Parry is in demand as a public speaker, consultant and resource to the media worldwide. In addition, she is The Privacy Lawyer columnist for Information Week Magazine and runs a very popular blog at theprivacylawyer.blogspot.com. Parry is the Executive Director of WiredSafety.org, the largest online safety and educational program in cyberspace, Ms. Aftab helps prevent and investigate cybercrime. Under its former name, her group was awarded the President's Service Award in October 1998 from the White House and Points of Light Foundation. Her first book, A Parents' Guide to the Internet was released in January, 1998. The Leadership Institute staff had the honor of interviewing Ms. Aftab, and her thoughts on Internet privacy safety and leadership are what follows…
The Internet is one of the most powerful tools in the world. When used with caution, it can prove to be invaluable in terms of communication, commerce, and research. However, the internet can also be a hazardous place. In our interview with Ms. Aftab she was adamant to point out that anything you put online stays up forever. To that end, it is important to be smart when deciding what is allowable and appropriate in cyberspace. Anything that is posted online about you by you or someone you know will remain online forever and can be accessed by police, a potential employer, or your future mother in-law. While privacy settings provide some confidentiality in what you are posting, they are not fail-safe. Perhaps you have your profile set to private but your best friend and “top friend” on myspace does not, with one simple click anyone who wants to find out about you can click on his or her profile and see pictures and comments that you thought were private. The law is clear, if something is public on the Internet; it is public domain and public domain can be accessed and acted upon by anyone.
Social networking sites like F facebook and M myspace are excellent ways to communicate with friends, support a cause, or promote a product, but one must be careful to be thoughtful about the purpose of creating such accounts. Ms. Aftab urges people to think about the reason why they are creating what they are creating and posting only information that supports that purpose. For example, if you are creating a myspace page to raise money for cancer research, it may not be important to include your phone number on the page as that is not essential to raising money for this cause. It would, however, make sense to have some facts about cancer and the donation link on the site.
Ms. Aftab has dedicated her life’s work to internet safety and is passionate about the fight against cyber stalking. “A cyber stalker is anyone who is using technology to hurt you.” Cyber stalking does not only include strangers, in fact people from your past and present can misuse technology in a way that is harmful to you.
Having passion about her life’s work is one of her greatest joys. When speaking about leadership, she eloquently communicates the importance of truly believing in your work, leading with integrity, and realizing the territory of being a true leader.
“My guidance counselor once told me… ‘it is always easier to hit someone if their head is taller than everyone else’s’…You need to realize that if you are considered a leader in your field people will watch not just what you say but what you do…it is hard to lead when you are not genuine.”
Ms. Aftab also enjoyed great success at a very young age and has learned many lessons about being a woman professional. It is often assumed that women who are leaders should not show their true feminine side. In other words, leading in a male dominated world somehow means that a woman must do everything she can to hide her true womanliness. Ms. Aftab disagrees, stating that using womanhood to your strategic advantage is the best thing you can do. “You are allowed to be a woman and still lead…young women tend to think they need to be a [certain way to get ahead] without realizing that [by the very nature of being a woman] we have a lot going for us.”
We invite you to learn more about Parry Aftab and internet privacy safety:
www.wiredsafety.org
... have the courage to do this real life, they gain their courage by the fact that they can use the anonymity of the web.
The priority is to think safety - to use the Internet (especially the chat rooms, newsgroups, message boards etc. you will need a screen name). It is best NOT to use your main e-mail address name if you use these forums as your mail box will become full of spam in time. Try to chose a nickname that is genderless,. Log on as SexySal40, and you will soon wish you had not!
Most Internet Providers have a "profile" provision, somewhere for you to put information about yourself so other people with similar hobbies, interests etc. can find you. You must also remember that Cyberstalkers and "players" (more about them later) use these profiles to target their victims. By all means have a profile but keep it brief, never give your real name, address or phone number. You don't have to fill in all the headers so you leave your marital status, age etc. blank.
This is a nickname and profile which I have seen online "lonelyladyann with a profile saying Ann Vi…… (real surname), living in Cambridge, age 52, recently widowed and looking to meet new friends". So anyone could look her up in the phone book, or the electoral roll to get her full address.
What is a Player ? - A person who, from day one, sets out to deliberately deceive someone. There are different groups of women who can be very vulnerable to these Players (Wolves). Single mums, divorcees, retired ladies and widows. Of these groups probably the most vulnerable will be those women in the 50+ age group who are possible retired or widowed, mainly because their age group do not usually have the computer or Internet skills of younger women. Also they mainly grew up in an age where people were more trusting of each other.
Loneliness plays a huge part in getting hurt by a player online. The are so many places like ICQ, mIRC channels, AOL chat rooms, Yahoo! and MSN chat rooms, etc. where you can enjoy chatting to people from all over the world; great places to pass the time and meet and make new friends most of whom are all genuinely nice people. BUT you need to remember there are Players (wolves) out there too who prey on the lonely vulnerable women (sheep, as they call them). The wolves lurk in the chat rooms, listen to what you are saying, they check out your profile - and then they POUNCE.
They rely on the fact that YOU feel safe, sitting in your own home, chatting and making new friends totally oblivious to the lurking wolf. This poem, by an unknown author, is a good reminder of what can happen."
www.wiredsafety.org